Note to Paula Abdul: I know the entertainment industry is tough but. . .

lay off the Botox! I hate to be mean, especially to Paula, so please take this as constructive criticism.  Paula is the heart of American Idol and as such, she needs to be able to express herself.  But how can she express herself when her entire face is paralyzed by Botox?  I was watching the last show and kept wondering to myself, “Self, what the hell is wrong with Paula? She looks strange?”  I couldn’t tell if it was the hair being pulled back or whether she was on pain-killers, as has been rumored in the past, or what.  Then I started to notice that not only her hair looked pulled back but her entire face looked pulled back, as well!  I don’t think I would go as far as saying that she looks like she’s had a face lift, but it was very clear that her plastic surgeon recently ran amock on her face with his Botox needles. Paula is a very expressive person and it looks weird when she’s saying something and her brow tries to furrow or she tries to smile and nothing comes out . . . except plastic. So here is my note to Paula Abdul: _____________________________

Dear Ms. Abdul, Hi.  Can I call you Paula?  Maybe, Ms. Paula?  Anyway, I’m a big fan of yours and love to watch you on American Idol.  You are the Princess Leia to Simon’s Darth Vader.  You are the light that refuses to be sucked into his black hole of smug, British effetism.  You get the idea. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you are beautiful, accomplished, and always find the positive in the contestants.  This is what makes you so special and such an essential component of the American Idol show. (BTW, I hope they are paying you more than Randy, at least.)  For these reasons, I feel I must write to you to request that you not receive any more Botox injections.  I know the entertainment industry is hard on the body and soul, and especially for older women, so I can certainly appreciate the impetous to inject paralytic, deadly fungus into your face to cover up the wrinkles and signs of aging.  But, please know that your fans love you and believe you are actually more beautiful with a normal face, rather than one that is immobilised and plastic and unable to show emotion.  Come on!  We like to see your brow furrow, and we like to see your WHOLE face smile, and frown for that matter.  We want to SEE the fury in your face when you bitch slap Simon.  In short,  you are the heart and soul of American Idol and when you have Botox injections, a little piece of the show dies. . just like the nerve endings in your face. Please, if not for me or yourself. . do it for the show.  Stop with the Botox. Thanks so much. Your Idolfan

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